This summer, I’ve had a frustrating problem.
Garden slugs.
Those slimy, track-leaving, plant-wreckers have been ruining my flowers. So I drove to a local garden shop, seeking professional advice on how to eradicate them.
The specialist just happened to know that I have a small dog and voiced sincere concern about my pet’s safety around slug bait.
“Do you know what you need?” she stated with confidence. “Beer.”“Beer?” I questioned.
“Absolutely. Slugs love it. They’re drawn to it. Simply plant open, deep dishes of beer in your flowerbeds and those pesky slugs will fall into them and drown.
“Really?” I said hesitantly.
“Try it. You’ll see.”
Since the other sales associate strongly agreed, I decided to use this unorthodox advice. So on my way home from the temple the following morning, I stopped at the local 7-11 to buy some beer for my slugs. I’ll admit, it felt weird.
While handing that can to the cashier to scan, I couldn’t help but imagine how I would feel if my neighbor, my bishop, or a friend had just casually strolled in and wanted to chat.
“I have a ‘beer prescription’ from the plant lady, “ I’d be tempted to tell them.
“I’m not buying this beer to drink--only to destroy,” I would say.
All the way home, I pondered this seemingly harmless scenario. After all, my conscience was clear.
But something about it seemed all-too-familiar – like that sketchy PG-13 movie I felt I needed to justify seeing to my family, those song lyrics my teens sometimes tell me they don’t actually hear, the gossip commonly repeated with the well-known phrase, “Now, don’t tell anyone BUT…”Buying beer for slugs IS harmless, but I want to live my life in such a way that no explanations are necessary. Maybe that’s naïve, but at least I want to try.
You should know that the beer—to date—has attracted NO slugs.
Just my dog, Lucy.
Now I need some solid advice regarding an alcohol recovery program for dogs.
Anyone?