I've been reflecting a bit the last few days.
And I've remembered that when I turned 30, I finally felt like myself—I really think my spirit was 30 from the time I was born.
No...really...I really do.
I had a fascination with news programs at an early age.
I'd come home from elementary school and watch Phil Donahue (seriously. I remember the show that Barbara Smith appeared on to talk about the ERA. I was eight, people.)
While other girls my age were reading the 1980s version of the Twilight series, I was reading memoirs like Life & Death in Shanghai (adorable, eh?)
I discovered Barry Manilow at age 10 for crying out loud.
So, I felt fairly “right” about turning 30.
But, still, I was anxious as my birthday approached. 30 just seemed so...old.
And so, to be helpful, a dear friend reminded me that Jesus began his ministry at the age of 30. In other words, His whole life was preparing for that important age. I loved knowing that. And I felt like it was true in my own life.
And the truth is, turning 30 felt great.
Because I felt like I was ready.
Well, I think I'm feeling much the same way about "40".
I always thought if I was still single, still child-less at 40 (oh, who am I kidding. I never actually thought I'd still be single and child-less at 40), it would be a dreaded birthday...a difficult birthday...a depressing birthday.
Yet, here I am, 35 days from my 40th birthday and it feels neither dreaded nor difficult nor depressing.
I admit I have some hopes about the actual day.
But, what I'm realizing is that my 40th birthday will be less about what I'm doing on that day and much more about what I've done to get to that day.
Or rather, what HE has done to get me to that day.
In the scriptures, one of the strongest shadows used is the relationship between "forty" as a means of preparation and the fulfillment of promises.
Did you read that?
THE. FULFILLMENT. OF. PROMISES.
Just a few examples of how the number 40 is used to represent a period of testing or preparation (thanks to the help of our friend, the worldwideweb)...but followed by the fulfillment of promises.
• The rains (in Noah's day) fell for 40 days and nights (Genesis 7:4).
• Israel ate Manna for 40 years (Exodus 16:35).
• Moses was with God in the mount, 40 days and nights (Exodus 24:18).
• Moses led Israel from Egypt at age 80 (2 times 40), and after 40 years in the wilderness, died at 120 (3 times 40; Deuteronomy 34:7).
• God made Israel wander for 40 years (Numbers 14:33-34).
• Goliath presented himself to Israel for 40 days (1 Samuel 17:16).
• Elijah had one meal that gave him strength 40 days (1 Kings 19:8).
• God gave Nineveh 40 days to repent (Jonah 3:4).
• Jesus fasted 40 days and nights (Matthew 4:2).
• Jesus was tempted 40 days (Luke 4:2, Mark 1:13).
• Jesus remained on earth 40 days after resurrection (Acts 1:3).
I have spent my life in preparation for the fulfillment of promises I truly believe God "is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them". (Bible Dictionary)
And so, in preparation for my birthday, I’ve been dedicating myself to being willing to ask. Really ask.
And you know what?
I'm really looking forward to this milestone.
And I love that it's not because of a grand trip (oh, I had plans for one!) or checking things off a bucket list (I had that too)
It is simply because, through the marvelous gift and power of prayer, I am discovering I have been prepared to be EXACTLY where the Lord knew I'd be...
...because He's been preparing me, for forty years, to be right where I am.
And I believe He's been preparing me for the fulfillment of promises.
His Promises.
How could I possibly ask for anything more?
Laurel Christensen grew up in California, Kentucky and Missouri. She has a Bachelor of Science degree from Brigham Young University which she received after serving in the Riverside California Mission. She has spent most of her career at Deseret Book Company where she worked for several years as the Director of Entertainment, producing shows like The Forgotten Carols and launching and managing Jericho Road, among other artists. She is currently the Vice President of Product Development and also oversees the Time Out for Women program, spending many weekends on the road producing Time Out events. Laurel has a Masters degree in Communications Management and thinks it would be fun to someday be called “Professor”. She is the author of several talk CDs and books for young women.