Time Out for Women

We Matter to God

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:49:00 -0600

It felt so good to be alone for a few minutes, just to feel alive and to think. I sat barefoot, my toes pushed deep in the soft red sand of the dunes. While I hoped that no disgruntled sand creature would emerge to complain of my trespassing, I enjoyed the feeling of both the warm sun and the cold wind on my face.

Although I could not see the beautiful red rock mountains of southern Utah that surrounded me, or the valley view that spread below my perch, I felt their majesty. I knew I was amidst the creations of God.

I felt a special closeness to my Father and knew that I, too, was his creation.

I thought back over the previous four months of my life, all the pain, all the discouragement. It was amazing that I was alive.

Just before Christmas, I was hospitalized with spinal meningitis. The pain was terrible! In fact, after returning home, I couldn’t get it under control with medication. So, back to the hospital I went.

An MRI showed that I had an abscess in my brain. I would have to have a craniotomy (brain surgery) to remove the infection.

This news was absolutely devastating to me. I had undergone several craniotomies before and knew the pain that would follow. I couldn’t believe it! Another huge health problem?

I couldn’t face it, but I had to.

My recovery was very difficult, and I wondered often if I would ever feel better again. I relied continually on Heavenly Father to get me through the horrible ordeal. He did, and he is still helping me as I work on gaining strength.

As I sat on the red sand dune, I thought it incredible that in the midst of all God’s countless creations, Heavenly Father knows me. He loves me and cares about my earthly and eternal welfare. I remembered President Dieter F. Uchtdorf’s words:

“God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him” (“You Matter to Him,” Ensign, Nov. 2011, 19).

I felt the truth of his words. I matter to God. I knew it there on the dunes, and I knew it when my brain surgeon explained to me that he knew he had received “assistance” during the risky brain surgery.

There are definitely times when heaven feels far away, times when we might wonder if we are important to God. But we do matter to him. I matter, and you matter. We are his daughters, and all his numberless creations were made for our benefit. We are his work and his glory. We matter to God. I know it.

Tornados and Triumphs: Part II

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:30:00 -0600

Tornados and Triumphs is a series that tells the story of tragedy, miracles, and rebuilding from the Moore, OK Tornadoes through the eyes of a believing woman like you. Click here to get caught up with PART 1 of Rachel's story!

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Without question I yearned to go and serve those whose homes and businesses were destroyed during the two days of tornadoes in the Midwest. But it was the large tornado that whipped through Moore, Oklahoma, that had our entire state holding our head in our hands, with our hearts broken. Yet at that moment in time a desire to serve and help swept across Oklahoma like a giant blanket being rolled out.

I have never in my life felt so much unity and love from other people of all faiths and walks of life. A wonderful energy filled the air. I tell you, I could feel and see the prayers of millions of people across the world as we started to serve on day two. Because of destruction and security issues, most roads were closed leading into most tornado-slashed areas.

A big concern was feeding all those who were searching their homes for anything salvageable and also feeding first responders.

A dear friend of mine organized donations of food and eating utensils at a nearby grocery store and then gathered several Oklahoma-area chefs together to jump on a food truck, head to ground zero, start cooking food, and feeding people.

I was lucky enough to be part of that effort, cooking for the Emergency Medical Services Authority (EMSA) and the military outposts. We were not the only ones. When we arrived at the shut-down store parking lot, there were over 30 other tents or food trucks from local restaurants giving away yummy food.

Amidst the devastation were smiles and joy on all the volunteers’ faces. Our hearts too were filled with joy as we assisted in being the Lord’s earthly angels.

Then came Sunday and a bit of a surprise. Via text came the announcement: “Regular ward meetings are canceled. All area stakes are to meet at their assigned stake center at 9 a.m. for a short sacrament service. Please come dressed in rugged clothes and comfortable shoes, as we will be dividing up to go serve in the devastated areas."

I arrived at church and saw more than 1,000 members stuffed into the building, spilling into hallways, all dressed in yellow. It reminded me of when Brigham Young cut general conference short and sent forth rescuers to help bring in the handcart pioneers still on the plains.

The Church worked with the Red Cross and local fire departments to get all Church members checked in and assigned to needed areas. In north Oklahoma City, the Church had a special mission.

We were sent to the small towns and communities that had been destroyed but had received no media coverage or military assistance—places that had basically been forgotten.

As chainsaws sounded, tractors revved, and the smell of sawdust and sweat filled the air, the Mormon Helping Hands went to work! In 7 hours, we cleaned up acreage that would have taken home owners months to do on their own. Truly a miracle!

The owners came by at the end of the day offering thanks and gratitude to the Church. One woman’s eyes filled with tears as she said, “This is the best sermon I have ever received from the Mormons. I won’t soon forget it. Thank you.”

There are many more heartfelt stories like this—and miracles of faith, service, and protection—that I will share with you in part 3.

Rachel Penke is a happily-single, funny, creative, inventive, temple-going, die-hard entrepreneur living in Oklahoma City, OK. Most importantly, she's a dreamer who has remembered almost every dream she's had since she was two years old. It was a dream in 1999 that led her to find the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and convert shortly thereafter. Feel free to follow Rachel's blog here.

During the month of June, Rachel will share her spiritual journey on TOFW.com as she rebuilds her life and community after the devastation caused by the May 2013 tornadoes.

The content of websites outside TOFW.com are the sole property of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Time Out for Women.

Join Us for the Celebration: Trail of Tender Mercies Walk

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 14:14:00 -0600

by Emily Freeman

We knew it would be an amazing experience to practice believing HIGHER with Emily Freeman during our Month of Many Mercies Higher Challenge. And now, as promised, Emily presents a plan for a walking celebration on June 22 that will help you and your Higher Challenge friends commemorate all the beautiful mercies you’ve discovered.

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I love holidays.

I really, really love them. The gathering. The day off from regular responsibilities. The celebration.

It is a day that is set apart…dedicated…for remembering.

Independence Day, Christmas, Easter, and Valentines Day are all days that have been set apart for celebrating and remembering.

This month I propose we create our own day of celebration.

A day dedicated to remembering.

Let’s set apart June 22, 2013 as a day devoted to celebrating and remembering the tender mercy moments in our lives.

What if all around the world, in neighborhoods and communities everywhere, we gathered for a walk of celebration to remember His many mercies?

Here is how you can participate...

GATHER A GROUP you would like to celebrate with. It might be your walking group, your family, or some friends that have also been taking the Higher Challenge this month. Perhaps you will include a group of young women or members of your Relief Society. You could even walk by yourself to create a sacred personal experience.

FIND A THREE-MILE WALKING ROUTE in your area.

SCHEDULE A TIME ON JUNE 22 FOR A WALKING CELEBRATION. You will need about two hours. You could do a morning walk, or you might consider an evening walk.

We've posted printables of everything you will need for your walk.

Here is what you will find in this WALK PACKET (PDF):

1. A PDF file that will allow you to print a runner’s bib for every person. You will need to purchase safety pins. Instead of a number, each walker should be prepared to write their favorite tender mercy scripture on their bib. You could consider sharing these scriptures as you walk.

2. A PDF file that will allow you to print a small handout for every person to take home. You will need to purchase ribbons or fabric to attach to the top of each handout.

3. A PDF file that will include all of the instructions for the walking celebration from start to finish. Part of the celebration will include 5 really short stops where one member of your group can read a small devotional. These devotionals will be included in the document.

I can hardly wait for June 22 to arrive! In my mind I am already imagining small groups gathered around the world celebrating the many mercies of the Lord.

I hope you will join us on our Trail of Tender Mercies Walk no matter where you live.

Perhaps it will become an annual celebration.

June 22.

A day dedicated to remembering the many mercies the Lord bestows upon us.

And don't forget to SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE with us!

Please take a minute during your walk to post pictures of your group on our FACEBOOK PAGE, INSTAGRAM and TWITTER #HigherChallenge.

We can't wait to see your celebration in your corner of the world.

If you'd like to JOIN EMILY on her celebration walk in Highland, UT this Saturday, June 22nd, there's still room! Go to her blog - dailyclosertochrist.com to sign up and get more details.

RECIPE: Favorite Father's Day Recipes

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 00:43:00 -0600

by Sara & Kate from Our Best Bites

How do you show love to the men in your life on Father's Day? Kate & Sara from Our Best Bites show us a few ways that we can express our appreciation from the kitchen, maybe proving that old adage that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. But don't forget to give him hugs too!

I don't know about you guys, but Father's Day is such a tough holiday! Growing up, my dad was impossible to shop for. Now that I have a family of my own, not only do we have about 52,000 birthdays in June, but we also have Father's Day. Which often falls on my husband's birthday. I'm a fun girl and everything, but come July, I'm ready to stop celebrating. Since Father's Day is so hard to shop for, I always show them how much I love them with their favorite foods!

Here are a few of Our Best Bites' very best man meals, guaranteed to make them happy. Unless they're vegetarians. These BBQ Chicken Legs are a guaranteed hit among kids and grown-ups alike! I've seen grown men lick the sauce from this chicken off their plates. Just sayin'.

If you're running into weather trouble or want to have something in the oven while you're at church, these Carnitas are the way to go. One of our family's favorite meals ever!

Does he love ribs? Does anyone not love ribs? If not, these ones will surely win them over.

If cuts of beef and how to cook the perfect steak always leave you a little flummoxed, this tutorial will help you make the perfect steakhouse steak right at home!

Speaking of steak, if you love flank steak, this Sweet and Savory Flank Steak is one of the very best!

And finally, this Spicy Honey Chicken is one of our all-time most popular recipes.

We have dreams about this chicken.

We hope this gives you some ideas to help your family

have a very happy Father's Day!

Want more OUR BEST BITES goodness? Click here to download A Taste of Deseret Book, a FREE ebook sampler from Deseret Bookshelf featuring Our Best Bites.

In Charge of Two Girls Now

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 00:01:00 -0600

On April 12, 2013, little Roxy Jade Smith was born . She's the newest, sweetest addition and the reigning VIP in our family. My wife is my hero. Giving birth scares me to death. Always has. I mean, I try to be cool while everything is going down – supportive, encouraging, optimistic – but wow. Most men probably feel the same way. Even my seven-year-old son has figured that out. A few months into this pregnancy he confessed that he's sure glad he's a boy "because I don't wanna be the one having the babies." You said it, my man.

How do you thank the woman that just went through that? A new car? A new house? More kids? Well, the kids and I got her flowers and a cookie-dough Blizzard. It seemed like such an inadequate way to thank her for going through the experience of having a baby – but she still accepted our gifts graciously.

A few days after we brought our little girl home from the hospital, that same seven-year-old boy said something else that has really stuck with me (kids do that quite often). My wife was tucking him into bed and she and our son were talking about how cool it is to have a new baby in our family. Then he told his mom, "I can't believe I'm in charge of two girls now." So cute and so true. A future father in the making teaching his old man about the role of a father.

"The Big Three" vs. "The Three Ps"

I'm a simple person and this is how I have broken down the differences between motherhood and fatherhood:

Motherhood= birthing + feeding + nurturing
(The Big Three)

Fatherhood= preside + provide + protect
(The 3 Ps)

And there are even more responsibilities than those three for both the mom and dad to share. Fatherhood gives me plenty of things to stay focused on.

Kids have basic needs, like food, clothes, and shelter. and it's my job to provide for those needs. They need a place to call home. They need to feel safe. Kids need a father who will spend time with them, teach them, play with them, pray with them, wrestle them, dance with them, tickle them, take them to church, and, like my Grandpa taught me, read with them. They need a father who will tell them stories and listen to theirs, father who doesn't mind getting dirty and one who will go on big rides with them. A father who knows the importance of discipline. A father who will have the hard talks. One who gives them chances to lead, to serve, to work, to talk. And, especially, a father who loves their mother.

"I'm in charge of two girls now". If I think about it too long, that too gets kind of scary. Not I'm-having-a-baby scary, but the man version of scary where I feel the responsibility of raising a family that depends on me. They depend on me to survive. Facing that fact would be a lot scarier if I didn't know that I too have a father to lean on. But I do. My dad still lets me know that he's looking after me and my Heavenly Father continues to give me strength and blesses me with an understanding of the purpose of life.

I know I was sent to earth to do many things, but nothing has been more important than being a father.

Elder James E. Faust said, "Noble fatherhood gives us a glimpse of the divine attributes of our Father in Heaven." ("Them That Honour Me" , General Conference, April 2001)

As I look at my children, I realize that this is exactly what my Father wants me to be. Like Him.

VIDEO: What Makes a Real Man?

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 13:50:00 -0600

by Familyshare.com

We all know those men who have helped, taught, nurtured, and fathered us - the ones who put others first and show their strength through love. Whether we call them by the title 'Dad' or another name, we are excited to honor these men this weekend on Father's Day. Along with our friends at Familyshare.com, we say, THANK YOU to the REAL men in our lives who help us think, believe and live HIGHER!

Have a GREAT Father's Day!

Share from the Time Out for Women Facebook Page

or retweet from @TOFWLive

Faith and Fathers

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 00:15:00 -0600

Last year, I had the opportunity to play the part of Mary, the mother of Christ, in our stake’s production of Savior of the World. It was an amazing experience and truly life changing. I cannot describe the increase of protection, love, and awareness I felt from heaven as I participated in this beautiful program.

Because of the demands of my role, I was gone most nights from January through March learning my scenes. My husband stepped up as Super Dad for three months and took over the evening routine: feeding the kids, cleaning up, bathing them, reading stories, and singing lullabies while mommy was at “rehersolo,” as of my three-year-old put it.

A few days before closing night, I was frantically trying to fix dinner and get the kids’ jammies laid out on their beds. As I was running from the closet to the kitchen, dodging dump trucks and army men, I had a distinct impression to ask my oldest son how he was doing.

I knelt beside his chair and looked into his sweet, cherub face.

“Boston, how do you feel about Mommy leaving so much and not being home for bedtime anymore?”

I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe a furrowed little brow. Maybe some anger or some tears. Certainly not this:

“Hmm.” He thought for a minute. “I feel good,” he said.

Relief and gratitude washed over me. I knew it wasn’t, “I feel good 'cause Mom’s gone! Party time!” but more that he felt peace and comfort, even without me home. I know he felt an increase of love in our house because I had chosen to use my talents to share my testimony.

Through this experience, I've learned that when I put my trust in Heavenly Father and give offerings of my time and talents, He will “open . . . the windows of heaven, and pour . . . out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it” (3 Nephi 24:10; Malachi 3:10).

One of these blessings during this time was that my children grew incredibly close to their daddy and didn't feel the strain of having their mom away from home.

I love watching my husband push our children around in their little Lightning McQueen cars. I love watching him play baseball with them outside, or hearing him shout, “Daddy’s home! Where are my boys?” every night and then wrap them up in a big bear hug and wrestle with them on the floor. I love seeing their eyes light up whenever they hear his voice. I love how much they love him.

As parents in Zion, we have the wonderful and challenging opportunity to “rear our children in love and righteousness” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”).

Now my husband is the one spreading his wings as he earns his MBA, and I’m the one at home singing lullabies to my sons. We've since added one more boy to the brood, and on the days when life seems like it can’t get any crazier, I often find myself thinking, “How can I do this?” I think back on the special moments I witnessed during Savior of the World and the things that kept my connection with the Savior so strong. I realized that while I was doing the show, I didn't watch my normal TV shows. I wasn't online very much. I didn't have time to gossip about the latest news, or read the latest national best selling book.

Most of my time was spent learning about the life of Christ and quite literally, trying to act as if I had been there during His lifetime. Whenever I had the privilege to be home with my family, I took advantage of every minute.

And I've never been happier.

This Father’s Day, I want to express my love to my one-in-a-million husband who continues to be my boys’ teacher, leader, friend, and exemplar. During times of trial and tests of faith, he has always stood strong and immovable.

I am also grateful that my children have been able to see the blessings that come from serving the Lord and pursuing worthy goals as a family, and I pray they will always continue to grow closer to both their earthly and Heavenly fathers.

Tornados and Triumphs: Part I

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 00:24:00 -0600

By now, you have all heard the news, watched the devastation that took place, and were maybe even affected by the tornado that struck Oklahoma on May 20th. My heart is truly broken for all who lost a home, a business, or a loved one. I would have been one of those people, but promptings from the Holy Ghost caused me to move out of harm’s way.

Severe weather and thunderstorms are nothing new to me. I grew up in the heart of good ol’ Nebraska, where storms and tornadoes are common. It was easy to adjust to storms growing up because I had parents who knew the signs, and told us what to do and where we needed to go. I can remember my father looking at the skies and saying, "You see those clouds? Looks like hail and a tornado coming. You better put your car in the garage and hide in the basement." I’m glad I listened to my father, because softball-sized hail fell out of the sky, and a tornado touched down just miles away. I’m so glad I listened and trusted him because it taught me lessons about following guidance that has helped me over the last two years I've lived in Oklahoma.

The beginning of my tornado experience started this past February. I had taken all my life savings, my small paychecks, and a small business loan to invest in an awesome music festival in Oklahoma that would triple my investment. I hoped to locate the festival at an event center in southern Oklahoma City, and was going to need to pay for the nonrefundable use of land, PR, advertising, and food within the week.

The night before I was to pay for everything, I had the most horrible dream! My event was a disaster; there was destruction everywhere. I awoke scared out of my mind and got on my knees to pray. The answer was clear: “Do not hold this event. You will lose everything. You must listen." The voice was ever so clear, and I could not deny it. My hands shook even as I prayed from fear. The following morning I emailed the groups and the event center and told them I would not be moving forward with the festival.

Two months later, I understood my dream.

Wreckage from the Moore tornado

In Oklahoma there are no basements. That’s correct. We live in Tornado Alley with no basements, and costly storm shelters are available only to those who have a yard or are well-off.. I live in a three-story apartment complex. When we moved in, they told us, "If there is a tornado warning, you need to get in your car and leave. You live in a house of sticks!" Yikes!

It was a bright sunny afternoon, and I decided to take a nice nap, since my roommate was away, and I was home alone. About an hour later, I woke to a weird noise coming from outside my window. I sat up, still sleepy, pulled upon my blinds and saw what no one ever wants to see: neighbors running to their cars screaming,

“Head for shelter! The tornado is on the ground!"
I grabbed only what mattered -- my purse, my cell phone, and a box of genealogy-- and was in my car in thirty seconds, driving away!

My apartment was not harmed, as the tornado did not turn into a deadly F4 tornado until six miles past my apartment. But more was coming. An F5 tornado hit Moore, destroying and damaging more than 13,000 homes, businesses and schools, even taking the lives of people and animals. This was major devastation to our city and state.

A major neighborhood completely sucked up except driveways

The news of my guided protection from the storm came the following day, when a friend called me. "Did you hear what happened to your event center!? Wow, you were saved. The entire place was destroyed in the tornado!" My eyes welled up with tears. I could barely stand. I dropped to my knees and thanked my Heavenly Father for prompting me months before and warning me that I would lose everything! My life and savings had been spared from this storm because I listened.

The past two years living of in Oklahoma have brought a lot of suffering, many trials, financial setbacks, even great loss that only my Savior would understand. I can, however, remember being guided by the Holy Ghost. The still small voice has helped me avoid greater trials and find small blessings along this rocky path. Without question, my life would be far worse off had I not learned to listen to my earthly father, who taught me to heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

And now we begin the long process of cleaning up…

During the month of June, Rachel will share her spiritual journey on TOFW.com as she rebuilds her life and community after the devastation caused by the May 2013 tornadoes.

The content of websites outside TOFW.com are the sole property of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Time Out for Women.

"&" I'm Married

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 17:13:00 -0600

“…and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

It’s not unusual to have a theme for a wedding, but perhaps it’s a little unusual to have that theme be a scripture. (I blame it on all my years working with TOFW where we believe good themes have accompanying scriptures.)

I fell in love with the ampersand a few years ago and wanted to somehow incorporate it into the wedding celebration. And (no pun intended) then my Mr. found a really perfect scripture that went with it: Matthew 6:33. It. was. perfect.

And yet, I didn’t fully appreciate at the time how meaningful the entire theme would be—not just for the wedding but as a symbol of our new life together and a representation of how I got here to this place.

You see, a few years ago I received a lovely ampersand paperweight as a gift. I was kind of taken back at first. It had never been on my list of "things to get Laurel". . . but when I read the card that came with it, it came to the top of that list. In my friend's note she said, "You look at life with a constant 'and'.” I loved the sentiment.

And I fell in love with the ampersand.

But I knew that it was probably more accurate to say that I looked at life with a constant “but”—

For example —

I believed God heard and answered prayers, but He didn't seem to be answering many of mine.

I believed blessings followed obedience, but I didn't see how or when.

I believed God wanted me to be happy, but it seemed He more often wanted me to struggle.

I had become really good at never expecting anything and never asking for very much and finding reasons for the circumstances in my life and then just accepting whatever those circumstances were as "God's will". BUT then I got the ampersand paperweight and the sweet note. And it started a path that led to a journey to really understand the principle of faith.

I wanted to look at life with a constant "&"—regardless of the circumstance and regardless of the outcome. I believed that would help me find the true essence of faith.

That journey—that faith experiment—led me here: a newly married, 41-year-old woman.

Don’t misunderstand: I do not believe I’m here simply because I finally had enough faith to get married.

Rather, I believe that part of my journey—part of my coming to understand the power of faith in my life—was because marriage, for all the possible reasons, had been delayed for a time. And during the delay, I was given the opportunity to better understand that I could use faith to overcome fears that held me back in really significant ways, how I could use faith to get me out of my comfort zone, the need to use faith to pray for what my heart wanted most. I believe for me, it was the best way to come to understand that faith is about accepting God’s will AND coming to have a “knowledge that the course of life one is pursuing is acceptable to God” (LDS Bible Dictionary, “Faith). The combination of putting into practice what I came to understand (in addition to God’s granting a miracle)—that is what got me here.

And so, the "&" is now a symbol of faith as well as a representation of all the things that have been added to my life in this process: my 41 years have added to his 49 years; his family relationships have added to my family relationships; my circle of friends has added to his circle of friends; and his life experiences have added to my life experiences.

And so much more has been added: a deeper understanding of love and hope and commitment and covenants and agency and God's omniscience and works and blessings and laws and obedience and consequences and promises—such sweet promises.

“… and all these things shall be added unto you.”

These things— & many more things yet to come . . .

Video: June Challenge - A Month of Many Mercies

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 14:53:00 -0600

Take some time this summer to believe higher and

find the tender mercies in your life.

Watch this video to see how Emily Freeman explains the higher challenge to

turn your June into a Month of Many Mercies.